For nearly a week now there has been a bird flying into one of the windows to our unfinished basement. At this point in my life I have come to the realization that God can speak and teach through absolutely everything. Every event in life, every person, and every circumstance has significance. This bird for days now has taken flight from the ground just below the window ledge and flies directly into the window pane. It makes a loud dong noise that echoes from the basement on up the stairwell. Part of me wants to go talk to the bird and explain that what it is doing is only going to hurt and possibly lead to death. I want to point out the nice trees and bushes all around to the bird. Explain to the bird that they are available to make a nice cozy nest to rest it’s now injured head. Part of me wants to tell it that I would love to invite it inside, but that isn’t the best place for it. There is not a supply of worms and insects for it to maintain its nourishment within our home (at least I hope not). My words would not be understood by the bird I would only frighten it. It does not have the ability to reason as we as human beings have. The only one who can truly help this little bird is God Himself. Thinking of this little bird I am reminded of myself and of all human beings. Like the bird how often do we repeat behaviors time and time again only to find that it is a dead end, destructive, and brings significant consequence to our lives? However we continue on in our pattern because it is what we have grown accustomed to. Maybe it is the fear of letting go of what actually brings us harm and enslaves us. Do we actually fear freedom? In my own life there was a time that I tried to do things on my own. I was blessed with God fearing parents and instruction from God’s Word from the day I was born. Yet still there was this side of me that was determined to find things out on my own. My actions quickly led to consequence and pain that was brought on purely by my own decisions. Thankfully God protected me from complete destruction and death and has come to show me what true living really is. There are many choices and patterns in life that lead to destruction. My greatest problem was putting friends and boyfriends before God. For a time I was one that followed down destructive paths instead of taking a stand and leading others down the right path. One may think most often of the addiction to drugs and chemical substances as this sort of life I am speaking of. As we see someone we care about continuously hurting themselves again and again knowing that one of the times their high will lead to death. It may be seeing someone you love continuously going back to an abusive relationship wondering is the next time going to be the time he actually kills her. Addictions come in every form, food, money, power, our jobs, sex, and even our relationships. Too much of anything can bring destruction. There are even church-aholics that are so busy with ministries through their church that they may forget what is truly important. What is most important is a relationship with Jesus. As I think of everything involved in life, relationships, eating, sleeping, what we spend our money on, and what we spend our time doing there are only two things I can think of that cannot be “ too much” even of a good thing. The two things are time with Jesus and time in the Word of God. Of course we have lives to live, but what I mean is continuously being in a mindset of conversing, praying to Jesus. Continuous prayer means running our words, actions, and thoughts through Him first before we react in life’s situations. There can never be too much time spent in the Word of God, the Bible. It is crazy to think that the two things that we can never overdose on are what we spend the very least amount of time doing. How often are we like this bird just beating our heads against a wall hitting dead end after dead end. Jesus leads us to the safest, most joyful life that leads to eternity. We still have struggles in life, but I have to say that in my darkest times that is when I feel Him the most. He pulls me through stronger and better than I was on the other side of that pain. Praise God I am more addicted to Jesus and His Word every day!!!
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A Balloon Artist and Life’s Great Artist
Last June our family had the opportunity to travel to Orlando for vacation. My parents, my sister and her family, and my own family were able to all go together to share the Disney experience. Surprisingly losing my dad just eight short months later it is a trip that has come to have such significant memories. One evening we had diner outside of the Disney parks. This particular restaurant happened to have a young college aged girl that was making balloon animals for children for tips. She made four wonderful balloons for my niece, nephew, and two daughters. My father tipped her well for all of the balloons and both my husband and brother-in-law threw in a tip. She did very well at our table that evening. Her talent became very inspirational to two of the young eyes that watched her turn the deflated balloons into wonderful inflated creations. My nephew decided that he wanted to learn the art of balloon twisting after our trip. My sister and brother-in-law bought him a pump and balloons and helped him learn to make swords and dogs. A little later last summer he and my youngest went camping with Nana and Papa. My nephew Ben taught Cora how to make the balloons while camping and she was hooked. She came home and started getting on-line and learning how to make more and more beautiful creations from balloons. She has done a couple of events now twisting balloons into fun creations for kids. Watching her eyes sparkle as she watches the children smile in delight and share their thanks with her has been priceless. As she works her magic with the balloons I am reminded of how we are like those deflated balloons without a relationship with Jesus. We are alive yet lifeless not truly knowing our purpose and potential. After we turn to Jesus and follow Him with our lives, God breaths true life into every cell of our being if we allow Him. God will twist, shape, and mold us into the beautiful being He created us to be. You see without Christ there is a void within us. Many of us convince ourselves that there is no void that we are just fine as we are on our own. Most of us try to fill the void with material things, other people, chemical addictions, adrenaline rush addictions, all sorts of things. We see as evidence many beautiful talented people who have had the world at their fingertips whom allowed addictions to destroy their marriages, their careers, and eventually their life itself. Nothing can fill the void other than Jesus. Some of the balloons my daughter tries to inflate are so resistant to the air that as soon as just a fragment of air starts to stretch them they explode. How many are so resistant to the truth of God that they explode in anger toward Him with the opposition to allowing the heart to change. Some of the balloons allow her to inflate them, but there is a hole in them. The air she gives for them to take shape leaks right back out. How true of us who will listen to God’s calling and tugging at our heart and we allow our old ways to create a hole in our spirit. We allow what we learn to leak right out not allowing God to truly change and shape our lives leaving us deflated. The parable of the farmer sowing seeds that Jesus shared in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:1-15 explains this far better than I. The fact that it is written in scripture three times shows the significance and importance of being firmly rooted into the Word of God. Like the balloons our lives twist and turn. Sometimes those twists hurt, but are necessary for the growth, change, and direction God has planned for our lives. He knows what is around the next bend, what tomorrow brings, and He can create beauty from any trial we face. My prayer is for me to let go of me and all resistance I have to allowing God to fill me, mold, me and shape me. I pray that He can turn me into all that He has planned for His glory and purpose.
The Journey Through Grief
Grief is such a personal journey. Of course people always have their opinions of the right and wrong ways to grieve. The length of time one is allowed to grieve. The truth is that it is as unique and personal as our own fingerprints. The world does not stop for the broken hearted. A person is expected to put on a happy face, keep their brain focused and just keep going on. There are moments a person who is grieving really wants to just scream at the top of their lungs. There are times a person really wants to retreat to a corner and sob. As life continues around the individual seemingly in fast forward there is a standstill within them as the scar of losing a loved one has to form over the open wound. Our scars make us who we are. With each wound in life we are faced with the decision of how do we face tomorrow. I am so glad to have a God who meets me right at the depths of my grief. He mourns with me just like he did with the death of Lazarus along with Mary and Martha. (Found in John chapter 11) He knew full well that he was going to bring Lazarus to life and even better the promise of heaven in his future. Still “Jesus wept” and met them in their grief. He is the only one who truly understands where I am at. There is no true comfort that comes other than from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This writing came from a rough day of grief over the recent loss of my father. There have been many signs and comforts that I believe have been a direct gift from God. The day after he died my girls and I were driving to the one appointment that we kept for that week. The sky was beautiful and sunny with just a few white fluffy clouds. As we were traveling my oldest daughter, Michaela, cried out “Look it’s a smiley face cloud!!” The youngest, Cora, shouted from the back seat “Wow!” The cloud was on their side of the car so I had to duck my head some to look out the passenger side window. Sure enough it was the perfect smiley face. There were holes in this big white fluffy cloud for the eyes, nose, and a giant upward curved mouth just like what one would make with punctuation on the computer. The sun was behind the cloud so the facial features beamed with brightness as the rays poured through. I immediately stated “Maybe that is from Papa!!” The girls in unison said “That is what I thought too!” We all three felt a peace and had no doubt that the sculpting and timing of that cloud was a direct gift from Jesus and my dad. The other gift has been hearing the stories of how my father’s life has touched so many others. As a pastor for thirty seven years he has been with so many through their worst of times and best of times. He led many to know and trust in Jesus. You see my father was far from being a rich man as far as the world’s definition of riches. His treasure was the investment in all the lives of the people he ministered to. His work in this life was truly everlasting eternal work. He is in heaven today because of his belief in and relationship with Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16 The day he died he was still conscious when the emergency crews arrived at my parents home. He had immediate CPR, medications, and equipment to revive him as he breathed his last. I truly believe that he had a glimpse of Jesus, heaven and all that he had spent his life sharing with others displayed before his very eyes. There was no turning back for him. The grief of missing him hurts. As a medical professional there has been a struggle within me of letting him down. The awesome thing is that I know that we will meet again someday and that God’s timing is perfect. He had finished all that God had planned for him on this earth. He finished his race well and very strong. Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
Welcome to my blog
Journaling has never been my forte’ with having atrocious handwriting. A positive of social media has been communication with friends and family. God has always revealed Himself to me through everyday life and I had never really shared what He puts on my heart until posting on face book. My love for writing and putting these thoughts into words has developed through sharing with my friends and family. As my journey through life continues with a growing relationship with Jesus Christ the more free I have become. It has been encouraged that I share my journey with more than my friends and family. My prayer is that as I learn more and more of the freedom found in Jesus that God can use the words I type to encourage and bless as many others as possible.
anitalucasfreestyle 