Emotional Roller Coaster


What a day it has been for emotions.  Last night as I went to bed I felt such a burden for all the victims of evil.  With all the beheadings and shootings it really seems like the respect of life itself across the entire world is quickly slipping away.

When I woke this morning one of the first posts I saw as I checked into social media news was that a friend and her son had come upon a terrible car accident right after it happened and shared that they had stopped to help.  We went on to my daughters soccer game and after we arrived I checked my phone for messages.  The first thing I saw was that a friend I had graduated with from high school had died in a car accident.  It was the same accident that my friend and son had stopped at the scene to help.  For the sake of privacy for all friends involved I don’t want to share any more details other than my friend in the accident left behind very young children and a husband.  The soccer game became background noise as communication was made to connect families so that the husband could have some questions answered and some closure.

My nerves rattled we then sped home after the game to go to my mothers to join my sister and her family to celebrate my mom’s birthday.  Her first birthday without my dad here to celebrate with her.  We did a little work for her in the yard that included dismantling my dad’s garden.  We planted it for her this year, but she really didn’t have the time or need for it as that was always my dad’s thing.  So we said yet another goodbye so it seemed today.

One of my dearest life long friends attended her 10th annual Leukemia and Lymphoma walk as a survivor of Leukemia.  Usually we walk with her, but the schedule conflicts did not allow this year.  For my friend it was also the wedding anniversary she and her late husband shared.  Another classmate that we lost too soon he to the thief of cancer.

It was our oldest daughters first homecoming dance this evening and the emotions shifted upward to see our daughter and her friends becoming such wonderful and beautiful young ladies.  My mind kept going back to classmates of my own now gone with the shock of latest loss so new.

My heart felt heavy for some friends who lost their teenage daughter just last fall in a car accident and tonight would have been her senior year homecoming.

LIFE…every single event and emotion today was LIFE.  A life worth living.  A life worth preserving and respecting.  A life full of ups and downs.  A life full of sadness and joys. What so many in this world believe they have the right to steal from others. Spewing out the most lame excuses and rants as to why they are justified to take the life of another human being.

There are still people in this world who respect and cherish every life and every breath no matter how they believe or the color of their skin.  There are still people who FEEL and LOVE other human beings!!  All of us who love life need to come together and pray to God who gave us life for his healing and protection from evil.  God loves our lives so much to knit us in our mother’s womb and to plan our purpose.  God loves us so much to send His Son to die for us so that we may have eternal LIFE.  Eternity is nothing we can earn it is only by God’s grace, love and mercy.  Love LIFE!!!

Psalm 139: 13-16 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. “


As I watch this world and my country grow more and more evil everyday I feel a greater and greater sense of urgency to share the love of Jesus and the joy that He fills my heart with. I know who wins in the end and I am on the winning side!  Jesus…King of Kings and Lord of Lords!!  Are you ready?  If you die today where will you go?  Here are some verses that are bringing me comfort tonight.

Isaiah 5:20 “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.”

1 John 4:4 “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

OCD Struggles…Shortest Blog… Breaking through the Obsessive Compulsiveness… :)

You know you have a little OCD when the bank teller waves you on up to her desk because there is no one waiting and you find it very hard to walk straight to her not going through the designated roped off wait in line area. Ugh…just let it go you have permission to cut the line Anita!!!

False Advertisement…You Call that a Clearance Price?

wolf sheep

Just returned home from a quick trip to my last resort store (Wal-mart).  I have been repotting plants from my father’s funeral and needed just one more big pot.  With summer winding down I have been checking all over Alton for clearance sales on flower pots and have actually found a couple deals, but still needed one last big pot.  As I perused through the clearance isles I was surprised at how the red tags were not actually deals at all. That got me to thinking about all the false advertisement that bombards us everyday.  Having fallen victim to many so called deals in my life by clever salesmen, flashy signs, misleading coupons, etc… I have grown very cynical and cautious toward the “deals” all around.

There are not only false advertisements to win our money and business there is actually a huge battle going on for our very souls.  Satan throws false advertisement, false teachers, and false promises at us daily to sway us away from God.  To destroy us, to steal our joy, and to steal our eternity.  He will use people in power, TV evangelists, teachers, the media, pretty much any means he can to deliver his false messages to us.  You see anything that directs us to live for ourselves and to look out for self is a false teaching.  He will even take scripture out of context to try to say “it is biblical”.  The Holy Spirit alarms tend to go off within my soul anytime the teaching is about self.  You see throughout the bible God teaches us to love Him with all of our hearts. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37)  To seek God first then everything we need is provided for us by Him. (Matthew 6:33) The main focus of Jesus’ teachings were to serve others and put others first.  He gave us the ultimate example of giving everything we are and have for the sake of others.  (Luke 10:27, Matthew 20:28)

So just a quick little blurb today about guarding against falseness.  Satan wanted to become God and any teaching that is trying to sway you to be your own God is a path to destruction!  There is only one God and we are definitely not Him.

Matthew 7:15 “Watch out for false prophets.  They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.”

“Everything is Meaningless”

As I worked a little in our yard today I couldn’t help but notice all the stages of life our flowers are in.  It is early autumn here and there are still new buds, fully bloomed flowers and of course dried up flowers whose short life has already been forgotten.  This week during my quiet time I have been studying the book of Ecclesiastes.  There is so much within this book that struck a chord with me.  If God leads me to writing a book some day it may need to be an in depth study of Ecclesiastes. This book of the bible is a strong example of the fact that the scriptures are truly timeless as this book holds the infamous “A time for everything” verses (chapter 3 1-8) for starters.  I am just stating the obvious.  What impressed me more deeply were the questions of a man who lived around 3000 years ago.  He lived nearly 1000 years before Jesus walked the earth.  His questions, his despair, his struggle with how good things happen to the wicked and how bad things happen to good people, his struggles with his own sin, his own vanity, his own pride, his realization that his power and riches left an even deeper longing and pain in his soul.  He began the writing 1:2 with “Meaningless!! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”  How often in just the everyday activities has this been my own thought.  Laundry is never done, there is always a project, always bills to pay, what is cleaned gets dirty again, there are always people bigger, better, and more talented. How often I have thought how quickly people are forgotten.  Within one generation powerful lessons and skills are forgotten.

I can see so clearly that if a person has their eyes, hopes, and dreams set on the
meaningless quickly passing things of this world that it would be so easy to slip into despair.  Why else would we see the ones who seem to have it all, fame, fortune, beauty, and talent slipping into a world of addictions.  Often addicted to vanity with multiple surgeries to try to restore their youth, addicted to drugs, alcohol, sleeping pills.  Many times retreating to a dark cluttered world full of materialism yet left with a feeling of emptiness.  King Solomon wrote of how seeking worldly pleasures and riches left him with meaningless nothing.

Before Jesus walked the earth providing the one and only way to eternal life King Solomon wrote these words.  3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  The rest of chapter three Solomon gives a glimpse of God’s final plan for judgment of every man.  The end of this book Solomon’s conclusion of life’s burdening questions that remain just as strong today as ever is this;  12:13-14 “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.”  Throughout this book Solomon keeps going back to remembering God.  Having the close relationship with God.  Unlike Solomon we actually know the whole story of God’s plan to come to the earth fully human yet fully God, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay the price of our sin that separates us from Him.  He proved who He is by rising again. To provide the clear path to have a personal relationship with Him.  To provide us the only way to eternal life with Him.  One day we all will be like the brown shriveled up flower as this life will pass quickly.  What has meaning?  What lasts?  Our relationship with God our creator, our healer, our sustainer, our source of true love, the truth, the life, our redeemer, our friend, the only good judge.  What we do in this life with our eyes set fully on God.  What we allow God to work through us and in us is what is lasting.  Loving others and caring about the eternity of others is the only thing that is not meaningless. That is all that goes beyond the grave of this life.

Chapter 1:9-11 he writes “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.  Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new’?” It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.  There is no remembrance of men of old, and even those who are yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow.”    It is my own observation in life that Jesus was and is the one and only NEW.  He was Creator and He is Savior.  His impact on this earth cannot be forgotten and cannot be changed.  God’s word can not be destroyed nor forgotten.  The word of God, Jesus, is the “new” Solomon was longing for.  Jesus is what all our hearts long for if we just open our hearts to Him he will fill us with joy, pure and meaningful everlasting joy!!!

Parenting Hair Pull Outs!!!

One thing I am learning as a parent is that it is so hard to know when to remain quiet and allow my children to make their own choices and mistakes.  It is a concept that can make us want to pull our hair out and scream many days.  As parents we see the potential in our own children.  We have witnessed their shining moments and know what they are capable of.  Our youngest got a mom heart to heart last night about not missing opportunities.  Our oldest has fallen victim to similar conversations as well.  Gotta keep it even and spread the momma love and lectures!!!  Sometimes we get one shot at something and we have to give 110% or the opportunity will pass right on by.  The further explanation that there will always be someone else with more heart that will swoop in and seize the opportunities if we don’t hopefully resonated more deeply than it appeared.  Talent and/or skill is only half of what it takes.  Heart is what really makes the different.  Only time will tell if my direct questions requiring her to do a little self evaluation will make any difference.  This conversation was spurred by the sport of soccer.  Does she need soccer to live? Not at all.  Is the sport something she can learn a lot of life lessons from?  Most definitely.  There have been times that she has shown so much heart that parents and coaches of other teams have taken note of her.  Lately it seems she has no heart and has not proven even worthy of being off of the bench.  Competition gets tougher and tougher.  Coaches and team mate accountability gets tougher and tougher.
Of course parenting so often reminds me of how God thinks of each of us and reminds me of scripture.  How many opportunities do I miss to fulfill the purpose He has for my life? How many times do I miss opportunities to share Jesus with others?  How many times do I not give 110% let alone even close to 100% when it comes to my faith?  How often does God use someone with more heart who is listening to Him to fulfill His plans?  How often do I miss the blessing that comes when in pure fellowship with God?  I can only imagine how God feels knowing our full potential yet allowing us freewill to make our choices and mistakes.
Psalm 138:8 “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever—-do not abandon the works of your hands.”
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. “
Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?  It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  You are the light of the world.  A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
Full potential…God’s love radiating from our own life…our mind and souls/heart focused on God…to show the world the flavor and light that life with Jesus brings!!!   Lord please help me to give 110% in all that you would have me to do no matter how tough it gets.

We Most Definitely are What we Eat!!

This post is more of an update from my Detox of the Mind Body and Spirit post back in May. Today I received the results of my third hair analysis after getting sick in the late winter of 2013. I was so overjoyed when I saw the results today that I had to hold back tears. The copper that was such a huge factor in my illness is now within normal ranges. All the electrolytes and minerals continue to make great strides toward the balance that they should be in. To feel better and to see the results of what is actually happening at the cellular level in my body is worth giving up the food addictions. I never realized how addicted I was to sugar and simple carbohydrates until my health fell into such jeapordy. As my body screamed in pain I finally pushed for answers and found one simple answer…food. Fresh fruits, vegetables, and meat from animals that eat fresh fruits and vegetables does not make the billionaires into trillionares. Therefore food continues to be the best kept health secret. We don’t need medications we need the proper nutrition.

This blog is meant to be an encouragement to all who want to feel better. It can be done even with a crazy busy working mom schedule and on a budget. These results have encouraged me to keep on keeping on. To continue to pass up the donuts, fast food, and the candy drawer at work. To rememeber that when I pass up a tasty treat that it only taste good and once eaten it only brings harm to my body. So my dear friends read labels, eat the freshest food you can find, avoid processed foods, sugars, and breads and you will be amazed!! This little self proclaimed health lab rat/guinea pig is choosing to remain just that!!!

Genesis 1:29 “Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.”

Where Can One Find Love in a World Full of Hate?

Feel the need to reshare this one!


Tonight at church we sang a praise song that I have heard sung by multiple artists and have sung multiple times myself in worship.  The praise song “Let my Words be Few” such a familiar song struck a new “chord” in my heart that it had not before.  As we sang the words “Jesus I am so in love with you”  God pressed the question on my heart “Why do you love me so much?”  As we continued to sing the answers to this question started flowing.  Being a part of the praise team I am ashamed to say that I hold back emotion quite often.   My emotion may cause quite the comotion as truly pondering this question made me want to fall flat on my face in humility.

First and foremost Jesus created me.  He is the creator of life itself.  Because of Jesus I have breath.  Because of Jesus…

View original post 536 more words

Where Can One Find Love in a World Full of Hate?

Tonight at church we sang a praise song that I have heard sung by multiple artists and have sung multiple times myself in worship.  The praise song “Let my Words be Few” such a familiar song struck a new “chord” in my heart that it had not before.  As we sang the words “Jesus I am so in love with you”  God pressed the question on my heart “Why do you love me so much?”  As we continued to sing the answers to this question started flowing.  Being a part of the praise team I am ashamed to say that I hold back emotion quite often.   My emotion may cause quite the comotion as truly pondering this question made me want to fall flat on my face in humility.

First and foremost Jesus created me.  He is the creator of life itself.  Because of Jesus I have breath.  Because of Jesus I have senses to experience life in the good and the bad that life has to offer. In Acts 3:15 Peter refers to Him as “the author of life”.

Once sin entered the world by the choice of Adam and Eve God could have just wiped the slate clean. (Genesis chapter 3) With His creation now separated from Him by the curse of sin He immediately started His plan to save us.  The one and only way to bring us back into a loving relationship with Him once again of course allowing us the freewill to choose Him.  Ultimately His plan was to come to earth as a man, fully human, and fully God.  To live a sinless life.  To pay the price for our sin.  “The wages of sin is death.” Romans 6:23 The fact that He left the glory of heaven to feel pain and temptation alone is humbling to me.

He came to earth humbly to serve.  He led a life demonstrating Love in its true form.  The perfect sacrificial LOVE.  My thoughts then went to the image of His suffering on the cross and the look of love and forgiveness in His tender eyes.  I know the amount of sin my life alone placed on Him.  God calls to all of us.  God calls to EVERY human being.  We often forget that He also came to die for our enemies.  The very people who hated Him He was carrying the weight of their sin as well.

Then my thoughts went to how He conquered death and rose again in three days proving that He is exactly who He said, GOD.  Death has no victory over those who put their faith in Jesus.  We will die physically, but our soul will live for eternity in heaven.  Then came the image of Jesus coming back again this time to conquer evil once and for all.  The image of His return coming down from the clouds is something I long for if I don’t get to see Him because of my physical death first.  So you see it is hard for my “words to be few” when I truly contemplate why I can sing “Jesus I am so in love with you”.  Of course after all this flooded my heart and mind during our song worship the Holy Spirit confirmed every bit of this through the words of our pastor.  It seems any time God wants to draw me even closer He will affirm and reaffirm His point to me.  Having a pastor that courageously preaches the word of God is truly a blessing.

“Jesus I am so in love with you” why….?

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

John 1 1-14 gives further understanding of exactly who Jesus is.  Then again I recommend reading the entired bible from cover to cover to really know God…and then read it again and again!  🙂