Middle Age

The time in life that your body is so confused that your skin breaks out in zits like a teenager, sprouts wiry spring-like gray hairs, random hairs burst forth from places that never grew hair, and you start saying things like “What was I getting ready to do?” “What did I come in here for?” “I was going to say something, but…oh well I guess it wasn’t important.”

That is all I got tonight!!!  🙂  Oh and I just asked my husband “Is something burning because it sounds like something is burning?”  Yes I confused the sense of smell with the sense of sound.   Sounds like I just need to go on to bed!!!

We Can’t Protect our Kids from Life Forever

About five years ago our pet cat’s health was failing.  Each day I observed that breathing became a greater and greater struggle for him.  My suspicion was heart failure.  I knew there was a decision that needed to be made.  Not wanting to make the decision to put him down I had hoped the cat would decide for me and pass peacefully in his sleep here at home.  No such luck.  The day of the veterinarian appointment arrived and our dear pet was still hanging on.  My two daughters and I took our sweet “Chauncy” to the vet and my suspicions were confirmed.  The vet looked at me, nodded, and said “yes it is time”.  He asked if we wanted to be in the room.  I immediately blurted out “yes” not really thinking twice about what the girls would think.  My assumption was that they would want to be with their buddy as he breathed his last.  It was later that day or maybe the next day that my youngest daughter yelled at me that I made her go into that room.  Of course I apologized because I had no clue that I was forcing her.  I answered “yes” when the vet asked if we wanted to be present.  I heard no protest from the girls and thought all was fine other than the heart break of losing our beloved pet.  Once I had her look through the eyes of our cat her anger toward me was resolved.  I asked her how she would feel if she were Chauncy on that cold metal table left to breath his last with a stranger?  Then I asked if it would have been more comforting to Chauncy to be surrounded by his family that loved him?  She agreed that our presence was much better for our suffering cat.

Now we have gone from losing a beloved pet about five years ago to losing a beloved grandpa just short of a year ago.  Now the girl’s other beloved grandpa is so very very sick. I can’t protect them from the feeling of hurt and loss.  Death is a natural part of life and it is something that everyone that loves others has to face.  With the sorrow the realization of the blessing of that loved one is realized much more greatly.  It is so hard to watch those you love who were once so full of life struggle.  Life is so hard and somehow we need to teach our children how to embrace each moment with those we love.  To teach them to  be thankful for the sweet memories.  To be supportive and not turn their backs when those we love need us most.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.      

As a parent I feel a tremendous responsibility to teach my children how to truly live.

We Just Don’t Know

Not many of my own words tonight.  Just searching the word of God for comfort and thought I would share the verses that are bringing me peace.  I have no clue what the future holds, but what I do know is who holds the future.  My Heavenly Father holds the future, He holds me when I let Him, and hears the prayers of those who love Him.  That is really all that I am one hundred percent sure of.

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”  Isaiah 55:8-11

“In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.”  Job 12:10

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”  Proverbs 16:9

““Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10

What I Use as Life’s Measuring Stick


It is hard to even count how many times the subject of “why do the innocent suffer?” comes up in conversations.  The nicest people seem to be the ones who suffer from cancer.  Why do sweet children ever have to suffer?   Why does it seem that evil can have the upper hand torturing and murdering ones who follow the true living God? The measuring stick that brings me comfort and hope when asking the darkest questions of this life is Jesus.  When I look at what He endured on that cross for us it brings about a whole different perspective.  We often think of how undeserving the suffering of so many innocent lives actually is.  There has never walked a human being on this earth more undeserving of suffering than Jesus Christ, the Son of God, God in the flesh, fully human yet fully God, perfect and sinless.  Why would God do that?  Why would He come to earth to be rejected, tortured, and murdered?  Did you ever think that what He has planned beyond this life on earth for those who believe in Him is totally worth any suffering we face in our short lifetime?  He conquered sin and death by dying and proved that He is God by rising on the third day just as He said.  He fulfilled all prophecy and has kept every promise thus far.  Do you think the promise of eternal life is where the true blessing is at?  I do. When I compare everything to the cross nothing ever measures up to Jesus.

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Cheerleaders in Heaven


This week has brought me back to the place of continuously thinking of life, death, heaven, and relying fully on God’s strength.  As another dear family member fights for life I keep thinking of heaven’s cheerleaders.  I reminded our loved one that many people are praying and that he has a cheerleader in heaven, my dad.  A single tear came from our loved one laying there unable to communicate with me.  Little movements of his fingers at mine, a small nod of the head, “yes”, and the single tear were the signs given that he was still there and listening to my words.

The thought of heaven’s cheerleaders has overwhelmed me over this past year since my own father’s death.  There is a humbling gratitude I feel for the blessing of being the offspring of a legacy of Jesus followers and having come to my own personal decision to follow Jesus.  I know who is on my side and I am on the winning side.  I am never alone.  There are many saints who have gone on to be with Jesus who are cheering in heaven.  God’s angel army is cheering and fighting for and with me.  Best of all my greatest cheerleader, Jesus Christ, who fought my battle over sin!   How awesome it is that when I feel darkness of sorrow trying to swallow me whole I just cry out to Jesus and joy overcomes the dark. The light of Jesus stomps out every hint of the darkness of despair.  With God all things are possible and I am watching and waiting with great anticipation to see how God is going to answer my prayers in the next days and weeks.  I can not imagine living life without Jesus and without my cheerleaders in heaven!!!  Is Jesus your cheerleader or are you trying to rely on your own strength to get through this life?

Mark 10:27 “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.”

Isaiah 41:10 ” Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Jeremiah 32:17 “‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. “

I Really Don’t Want the Easy Button

easy button

It is good to reflect on one’s life from time to time.  Reflecting on my own life journey I remember the road that led me to my sweet husband. A poster that I had as a kid of a big frog read “Sometimes you have to kiss a few toads before you find your prince.”  I guess I took that poster to heart.  That journey was not easy.

School and my teen years weren’t always the easiest many times filled with lots of learning from mistakes and disappointments.

Nursing school was far from easy and there are days as a nurse that I have to wonder how many challenges can possibly occur and one still survive with some sanity.

Motherhood oh how does one even summarize the difficulties as a parent.  Pregnancy and childbirth…easy is definitely not the word to describe the physical strain this ensues on the human body.  There is no pain so worth every minute even though it was not easy.

To stand one’s ground as a toddler throws a fit in a public environment.  Not easy, but worth every ounce of embarrassment and strained ears to raise a child that realizes the world is not all about them and that they will have disappointments.

To say no to a teenager or preteen who may scream “I hate you”.   Not easy, but at some point in time they will thank you for loving them enough to protect them by saying “no”.

Being a follower of Jesus is not always easy.  There can be opposition, ridicule, persecution, and possibly death for staying true to one’s faith in Jesus Christ.  Eternal life and knowing that I can do nothing near of what Jesus did for me makes any little bit of rejection seem very miniscule.

Anything worth anything in this life doesn’t come easy.  If it does then maybe it is actually something that is not worth having.  Life is hard, it is work, it can be painful, it can be sad, it can be disappointing.  Why would God allow this?  It is what we become on the other side of the struggle that is truly valuable. Through every trial and challenge God has brought me through wiser, stronger, and with greater faith in who He is.

There are so many things I look back on and wonder how did I ever do that?  The answer is always by the Grace of God that is how.  It was never “I” got “me” through.  It has always been God has carried me through.

One day as I leave this life on earth there will be a flash of all that this journey of mine has entailed.  I will look back and realize though life was not always easy the journey was worth it.

James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

1 Peter 1:6-7 ” In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

Matthew 25:21 “His master replied, ‘well done, good and faithful servant:  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put your in charge of many things.  Come and share in your master’s happiness!”

No, I really don’t want life’s easy button.  The journey God has planned is what I truly want because He knows what is in store on the other side.

In the Midst of Chaos

With our home in the middle of some improvements going on the word “chaos” keeps coming to mind. The dirt, dust, disorder, and unpredictable nature of projects has had me feeling a bit frayed and frazzled. I decided to do a little digging via the helpful use of internet search engines into the definition of chaos. The consensus of the dictionaries seems to be that it is complete disorder and confusion. Most of the dictionaries also included the words abyss and chasm. Some even ventured to give the definition of the darkness of outer space before the ordered universe.

This lead me to search “what does the bible say about chaos”. The verses that came up were about the darkness that existed before God created light and order. Other verses referred to the sin that separates us from God’s light and love. There were verses about the fallen angels and the end times and final judgment. Chaos and God’s plan to bring order and purpose in the midst of it really is the bible’s theme cover to cover.

From the very beginning Genesis 1:1-3 ” In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters, and God said “Let there be light,” and there was light.”
God’s order, His creation was good then the fall of man happened, sin entered the world. Ultimately the Old Testament leads us through God’s plan to send His only Son Jesus, God in the flesh, to bring order to chaos. God is continuously working to provide order to the chaos of our lives through Jesus.

The New Testament leads us to God’s final plan as He states in Revelation 21:5 “He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me it is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life. He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters, and all liars – their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

The only hope and salvation to the chaos in our day to day lives is a relationship with Jesus. Let Him fill your heart and life with order, meaning, and purpose. He will bring meaning and teaching to all the frazzles in our lives.