Ugh When I Feel the Mother Hen in Me Trying to Unleash


Every so often and sometimes far too often I am reminded of the battles my oldest child and I have trudged through together.  From the very beginning even her time coming into this world has been a battle to overcome.  I seriously could write a battle book for her from the day I found out I was pregnant with her until now nearly sixteen years later.   There will be many more chapters to add to the book that will grow in greater intensity.  Somehow these far too frequent and early battles will have prepared her for what God has planned for her.  Since the day I knew I was carrying her I have felt this overpowering desire to protect her from a world that loves to tear down who it views as weak.

Her shyness and quiet spirit is all I can account to the reason why others have singled her out and  left her out from day one.  Usually it has been people who should be in her corner backing her that I have watched leave her out and mock her.  Most of the time it has been the  most appropriate for me to sit back and immediately treat her wounds with encouragement, positivity, and instruction how to learn from the world’s harsh reality, rather than confronting the source directly.  Oh there have been times I have had to pray, choose my words wisely, make phone calls, send emails, do research, present her case, and stand up for her as well.  There have been medical battles, school battles, sports battles, child bully battles, etc…

Yesterday I was reminded as she was in goal for an intense game of soccer that I still have that mother hen.  As she was making an appropriate choice to keep her post in goal and let her defenders do their job I hear a scream “COME ON KEEP” from behind me.  It was a tone that if I were a child and yelled at in that manner I would have been crushed and cried.  The tone was like fingernails down a chalk board to me.  The tone said “you are terrible and not doing your job” to me as the mother.    No goal was scored and my daughter had chosen wisely.

With  Easter having just been this last weekend my thoughts went to Mary the mother of Jesus.  In all her humanness I can’t imagine what her own “mother hen” felt like watching her son being mocked, tormented, falsely accused, cursed, beaten, and murdered on the cross.    I can’t imagine being in a crowd that is screaming “CRUCIFY”  and having your one small little voice saying, but he has done nothing wrong…he has done nothing to deserve this…he has never done anything wrong…   With those three words I mentioned above screamed harshly at my own child every nerve in my body stood on end.  I can only imagine with each strike, whip, and each hammer of the nails how Mary’s nerves would have been completely frayed.  She was there at his miraculous conception, his birth, and witnessed so many instances in the life of Jesus that clued her in to the fact that He indeed was the Son of God placed in her womb and entrusted care.  Her Son has the ultimate battle book and fulfilled God’s ultimate plan to fight life’s ultimate battle death.  He alone conquered death for all of mankind.  Mary in her humanness as she watched her boy hang from that cross being cursed at and mocked still did not understand the extent of God’s plan, but kept a mental record of it all.   “She pondered it all in her heart.”

There is nothing we can face or give in this life that is greater than what Jesus did for us.

As a mother I know God loves my children even more than I do and that every challenge faced is to teach them and prepare them for the next.  As a parent God continues to increase my wisdom on how to build up, encourage, and go to bat for my children out of love.  Even with our next journey in life with fostering I feel this mother hen in me desiring  to protect children who are weak and have no one to battle for them.  Sometimes it will be taking a stand for them and sometimes it will be providing the encouragement, love, and instruction to help wounds heal…   I really don’t like the feeling of my mother hen rattling the cage, but God has put this drive and fight within me for a reason…


Would you take in a Child that Claims to be Homosexual? Foster/Adopt #6

This is a question that was asked of me this afternoon.  I have no clue of the perspective of onlookers , but from my own it felt like my words came with little hesitation.   The question was worded actually as “Would you take in a LGBT teen?”  My first response was no one over twelve as we want to keep the birth order as a priority, but ultimately yes to a child within our age range.  All I could think was that child needs love and a family as much as anyone.  Also what came to mind is that it is sin that throws a child into this crazy foster care system to begin with.  Whatever means the child has been sinned against the abuse, sexual, physical, mental, emotional, and/or neglect (many times all of the above) that child is going to be messed up and confused no matter what.  For me to judge and say no I will not love you and care for you defeats the purpose of the very ministry our family is being called to do.

My authority is God and His word.  His word tells me ALL have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. (Romans 3:23)  I am a sinner.  My own sin is no better and no worse than anyone else’s.  It may look different than another person’s, but sin is sin in God’s eyes.  Jesus carried the weight of ALL sin of ALL mankind on the cross.  He paid the payment of ALL sin so that ALL can be forgiven.  When Jesus walked this earth who did he minister to?  He ministered to those that the “holier than thou”, “self righteous” religious leaders of the day called “sinners”.   It was those religious leaders that Jesus truly had the hardest time with because they did not realize their own need for Him. Jesus met each person that was willing to trust Him and receive Him right at their deepest need.  He met them where they were and provided physical healing, spiritual healing, emotional healing,   forgiveness, grace and mercy.  He never condoned the sin nor  said it was ok keep on doing what you have been. He loved them healed them and said “Go and sin no more.”   John 8:11 being just one example. Jesus met them at the core of their problem and healed them from the inside out.  That is the example God has given us to live by.   To meet others at their need and love them.  Then we can point to the one that can truly bring about change and healing for a person.

Another calling on my life has been nursing.  For over 21 years now I have cared for criminals, addicts, contagious disease baring, suicidal, abusive, ungrateful, all sexual lifestyles, psychotic, mentally disabled, physically disabled, bitter, helpless, weak, etc… My calling as a nurse is to provide care, healing based on human abilities, empathy, and to meet people in their time of need.  The calling has been that I take whoever God places in my care and that I do not have the right to pick and choose.

I guess when it comes to this next/additional calling in life I feel called to the same standards as Jesus’ example He gave us in the Word of God.   We will have questions to ask case workers and have the safety of our own girls to keep in mind of course.  The fact that a child may question their sexuality I do not feel is a compromise on God’s word by us taking them into our home.  Saying that any kind of sin is “ok” IS a compromise to God’s word.  Also not loving someone because I think their sin is worse than my own is a huge compromise to what God’s word teaches.

What I do know is that I am already praying for God to give us discernment, protect us from being sinned against, protect us from sinning, for our children to flee from temptations,  for God’s protection of them,  for us to trust God with all our hearts, and for us to love unconditionally.  We are being called to meet a child/children and their families at their time of need.  We are not called to judge them we are called to provide love, safety, forgiveness, and point them to the only one who can provide true healing…Jesus.


So I am Going to get a Little Political

Our country is hurting and first of all in deep need of prayer.  Personally I like to stay away from political debates and opinions, but I think no one can deny that our country is in trouble on so many levels.

My daughter’s high school team has two goalies.  My daughter being one of them.  Both are great goalies.  Both are on the JV and Varsity rosters.  This I think is awesome.  What I see happening is that both goalies are held up to a higher standard.  There is a friendly level of competition.  There is a higher level of accountability.   All these factors encourage harder work and a deeper level of commitment to the team.  On an even greater level hard work and commitment builds character and integrity.

This is what I have seen lacking in all governmental levels across the United States of America.  Even with two main political parties they both have fallen into a very selfish and lazy form.   When there is no competition or accountability bad things happen.   With no competition, pride arrogance and big ego develop.   With no accountability laziness ensues.  As one becomes more powerful and great in ones own mind the temptations become even greater.  When a bribe is laid before a politician the human nature of “self” can completely take over when there is no one looking and holding accountable.  The attitude of “entitlement”  has trickled down from the top.  All things run downhill and in the last several decades it has been nasty stuff sludging down the hill.

When a person believes that there is no one greater, “their the only game”,  and when there is a monopoly things get dangerous.   We all are replaceable and there is always someone that is more talented that will come along.

Humility, accountability, competition, commitment to the people, and integrity is lacking greatly in our country especially in the governments and those making the laws.

Life long politicians should not have happened.  Government positions are  suppose to be a service to “the people” not the power trip that they have become!    Ultimately God is in control and on His throne no matter who is the leader of our country.   We need to turn back to God and to turn back to truly serving Him and others instead of self.


What is Good?



The longer we wait for our Foster license the more little projects I am finding.  When a woman is pregnant it’s called nesting.  I have no idea what to call it when waiting for the completely unknown.  It’s a whole new kind of nesting.  Each item in this room has been carefully thought out and  inexpensive monetarily speaking.  A lot of time and love has been put into it.  Each item can also be reused or repurposed elsewhere in our home if need be so nothing is lost or wasted.

This little chair has been my latest labor of love.  This chair was literally getting ready to be thrown in a fire and my husband spotted it and saved it.  I’m sure he is now getting an eye for “what  Anita would love to paint and restore”.   I sat looking at this simple little chair this morning after putting a sealing coat on it and thought. “I like it.  It looks good, well at least to me.”   My thoughts then turned to God as he created this amazing earth and all the galaxies.  After each day of creation “He saw that it was good.”

God planned each and every person, plant and animal before He even spoke it all into existence.  My thoughts then turned to how my heavenly Father looks at me.  He planned me before sin entered in.  He knew all the good He could do with my life and my existence.  He had a purpose in creating little me.  He has this much love, thought, and planning for every human being.   Others may not look at what God has created and think it’s any good or like it.  Every human being is not likable and pleasing to all other human beings, but to God…  We were all created for something beautiful.  Of course sin entered and that beauty becomes distant and separated by our sinful nature that opposes all that God created us for.  We search to find our own purpose, meaning, and salvation to no avail.  On our own separate from our Creator we are destined to be used up and thrown into the fire.   God provided a Savior, Jesus, to snatch us from the grasp of that fire.   He looks on us with love and sees His original purpose, plan, and beauty.   As we submit to being saved and give up trying it all on our own we begin to change.  Beauty and restoration happens and God looks upon us and sees that Jesus has covered our entire being.  God can once again look at a human being that is covered by Jesus and say “it is good”.

I am so thankful for God’s love.  As I am so far from perfect He continues to teach me how to love, forgive, and live.

Genesis 1:31a  “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good”

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone,  the new is here.”

Life is More than a Vending Machine

vending machine

The other day my youngest daughter and I had dashed out of the house without eating any breakfast.  Our place of destination that morning happened to have a vending machine full of junk food that could provide a very short lived satisfaction to hunger pains (with no nutritional value I must add).   My daughter asked if I had change so she could get a snack until we can get some “real food”.  With those big blue eyes softening my heart I of course  caved and told her to go ahead and get some change from my wallet for  a snack.  Her first try to obtain a snack of her choice the tasty treat became entangled in the spiral mechanics of the machine and would not drop below to her reach.    Upon her second try for another choice the snack once again became stuck between the spiral grasp and the glass door of the machine.   After the second try  the only thing being fed was the machine with mom’s change instead of her belly so she decided to call it quits and just count her/our losses.


This encounter reminded me so much of the world we live in.  Some give and give yet never seem to get ahead or become successful according to the standards of our world.  There are some who may give a little and get what someone else paid for and lost.  There are some who may just shake life and make demands and the demands are granted without any work or effort.    Sometimes worldly systems work  sufficiently and one can get what they have worked/paid for.  Life can really seem unfair and meaningless.

Life of one who has a relationship with Jesus provides so much more than the give and take of this world we live in.  The things that are so fleeting and superficial, beauty, money, power, fame, attention, etc… start to become just that, superficial, as one’s relationship deepens with Jesus.   A quote caught my attention in Dr. Warren W. Wiersbe’s Bible Commentary of the New Testament.  “God’s love for His own is not a pampering love; it is a perfecting love.”    It seems all anyone wants to hear is what God will give give give.  Our lives are so much more than what we can get.  The world is so focused on “self” and what God and others can do for “me me me”.    God’s plan for us is to perfect us.  Not in a way the world sees perfection.  It is a perfection of faith and love.  The more He perfects our faith the more of His light and love can flow through us.   The stronger our faith the more God can work through us to love others perfectly.  The stronger our faith the less we let ourselves get in God’s way.  Sometimes deepening our faith means we have to go through a lot of pain, suffering, sorrow, and mistakes in this life.  When it comes down to it I would much rather be perfected than to have everything perfect.  When I look back on what may seem a complete mess in my own life I can see God’s perfect plan and how it evolved and refined my faith.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is– His good, pleasing and perfect will. “