This week as a foster mother has been a rough one. There have been moments that I actually said (not out loud), “Lord I am tired of trying to raise other peoples kids. I’m tired of dealing with the problems that I did not create.” I hate to admit that openly, but it is the honest truth. The love I have felt for every child within our care has been unexplainable other than the love from Jesus Christ Himself poured through me to them. This week has been a discouraging week. Discouraging behaviors and a discouraging system bring me to the point of feeling overwhelmed so often it seems. Our dear pastor preached this morning on discouragement and it was so needed.
So often it feels like it is all for nothing. There has been no difference made in anyone’s life especially the children. Our first two placements probably would not be considered “success stories” according to the world’s definitions.
Just when I feel so low God gives the gift of a phone call out of the blue from our first child placed with us. I was notified by our second placement of a charitable fundraiser that the kiddo is participating in. Both continue to check in. After a lot of attitude and pushing this momma to the limits the youngest child in our home tells me that she wants be a parent just like me when she has her own kids one day. A birth parent has now been to church six Sundays in a row and we exchange a mother/daughter-like “I love you” when saying good-bye. The devil sure wants to beat me down and make me quit, but God who is so full of Grace and Love shows me these glimmers of hope just at the right time. So often it seems like there is no difference being made. If a child can say that they know that when in our home they were truly loved then that is a success.
Thank you Jesus for pouring out your Grace on me. Thank you for pushing me to continue pouring out that Grace to others even when it is so hard. I am so far from being perfectly loving and therapeutic 100%, but God wants to use me despite how weak I am.
As the apostles continued to press on sharing the Gospel of Jesus this verse made me think of what I am learning in this ministry of Foster care. Acts 4:33″With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all.”