You know you have a little OCD when the bank teller waves you on up to her desk because there is no one waiting and you find it very hard to walk straight to her not going through the designated roped off wait in line area. Ugh…just let it go you have permission to cut the line Anita!!!
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Where Can One Find Love in a World Full of Hate?
Feel the need to reshare this one!
Tonight at church we sang a praise song that I have heard sung by multiple artists and have sung multiple times myself in worship. The praise song “Let my Words be Few” such a familiar song struck a new “chord” in my heart that it had not before. As we sang the words “Jesus I am so in love with you” God pressed the question on my heart “Why do you love me so much?” As we continued to sing the answers to this question started flowing. Being a part of the praise team I am ashamed to say that I hold back emotion quite often. My emotion may cause quite the comotion as truly pondering this question made me want to fall flat on my face in humility.
First and foremost Jesus created me. He is the creator of life itself. Because of Jesus I have breath. Because of Jesus…
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How the Sin in my Heart is like that Black Bra on my Cart
I decided to reblog this post for new followers. It is one of my all time favorite stories and spiritual truth God has shown me through an embarrassing moment!
A few years ago when my two daughters were younger I often found that my time to do our family shopping was after nine o’clock in the evening. Working full-time as a nurse, church activities, dinner, homework, the ever daunting task of laundry, the time after the girls were in bed seemed the best time to shop for the family food and staple items. One winter evening I bundled up and traveled on down to our local Wal-Mart to purchase the family necessities. This particular store is strategically arranged with the pharmacy, beauty supplies, and pet supplies at the polar opposite corners of the store from the milk, cleaning supplies, and paper products. With a lot of shiny objects in the middle to distract us mommas. This particular evening my cart filled quickly with large items like paper towels, laundry detergent, and toilet paper. Feeling distracted like a squirrel as…
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“It’s a Dog Eat Dog World”
The little black dog is harder to see all snuggled on my lap. One of my favorite pictures of the dogs, my buddies.
What a beautiful Memorial Day morning. As I sat on our back patio reading my bible and drinking my morning coffee the realization of all who sacrificed everything for the freedoms I was enjoying in that very moment was overwhelming. There are so many to whom I owe my humble gratitude Jesus, American soldiers, my parents… My attention then turned to my furry friends who had joined me. Our small dachshund /Lhasa Apso mix dog in the chair beside me and our three legged wonder Yellow Lab dog lying beneath my chair.
Our little dog tends to be more of the family annoyance. She is an extremely selfish and nervous creature. She would eat until she literally exploded. She seeks opportunities to steal any kind of snack from anyone not paying close enough attention. Snappy and grumpy if she is not getting her way her selfishness, her looks of paranoia, and nervous habits often tend to be the center of family jokes. Her choice human happens to be me and she only seems content when near me and/or eating.
Our sweet rescue dog is quite the opposite. Her quiet and peaceful demeanor has made her a true family dog. Completely unselfish in her love and affection for the entire family she shows pure gratitude toward anyone who cares to rub her belly or scratch behind her ears. Her patience with the little dog amazes me. At times I have observed her leave a few bites in her bowl of food for the little one to devour. It took the work of four families to rescue this precious pet. That is a whole other story of God’s timing that I will share sometime.
When the time comes that the little dog passes I am quite sure that I will be the only one to shed a tear for her. Her lack of affection for others and selfishness has not made a great impact on this family. On the other hand when our sweet three legged wonder passes there will be great mourning in the Lucas household.
It is amazing to me how we as humans will feel the loss and mourn for lives of ones who truly loved and led lives of sacrifice for others. When a selfish power hungry dictator, politician, or shrewd businessman departs from this life there actually may be a celebration instead of mourning. Our human response is so amazing in that we long for love and selflessness yet the attitude of do what is best for “me” overpowers and most often prevails.
Jesus was the ultimate example of God’s love. He demonstrated the perfect life of selflessness and sacrifice. The bible clearly provides the knowledge and wisdom of salvation from our selfish tendencies. God’s word reveals the true source of love. Often as I observe the world the two things that seem most hated are Jesus and the Word of God. Maybe like our little dog the world is so content in its self- absorption that there is a nervous fear of letting go of the self -made prison. We miss out on such a blessing in this life when we focus on ourselves instead of others. When we trust in Jesus and turn our selfishness over to Him the love he pours into our hearts is indescribable. Our little dog misses the blessing of enjoying the whole family in her little anxious world. Our three legged dog has this love thing down pat. Don’t let the opportunity to allow Christ’s love to fill your heart pass you by. There is tremendous freedom in giving Jesus more of my selfishness and allowing him to replace it with love. Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” There are so many verses on human selfishness and on God’s love. It is hard to pick just one or two.
Life’s Great Coach
As another school year and spring soccer season wind down it seems I can’t help but reflect. My mind keeps thinking of the growth of my own children and others that are growing alongside them in their schools, church, and activities. There has been a lot of parental growth for my husband and I as well. Both of our girls love the sport of soccer the youngest child has been the most consistent in her love and heart for the sport so I am going to use her as the example although we have learned so much through both of them. The oldest daughter has probably taught us patience most of all as we have given her opportunities and have waited to see what she becomes passionate about.
Our eleven year old daughter has consistently played soccer and her like for the sport has turned into a love. A few years ago it was as if a light switch had turned on illuminating a heart and drive to do her best while playing soccer. The tears that were shed with any bump or fall turned into a determination to not be pushed around any longer. The biggest clue that she was maturing in toughness was during an indoor soccer game where her hand became the sandwich meat between the turf and an opposing team player’s cleat. She got up with the look of searing pain on her face. As her mother I was braced for the tears that I thought for sure were to come. They never did. She shook her hand and held it a bit, but when the referee asked if she needed out she shook her head “no”. A look of determination erased the look of pain and she continued to play a well fought game. After the game she ran up to where I was standing and with a light hearted laugh raised three very bruised fingers for me to see. From that point she definitely earned my respect by displaying a matured toughness and resilience.
A lesson for my husband and I has been that we really need to keep our mouths shut. That we should sit back and encourage, but remember the sport is for fun, exercise, and learning to be a team player. It is so very hard when it seems at times the referee is wearing a blindfold or the parents from the opposing team’s voices grate on nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. Sometimes she will have an off day and we have to remember that we have off days too with work and most definitely as parents. Just recently my husband and daughter had a conversation in which she basically told him that he was wasting his air coaching her from the side lines. She said “I am listening to my coach and teammates I cannot listen to you too.” She has told us that the “way to go’s” are encouraging and ok. This made me think and pray that in life she will listen to life’s true coach, God. If at times we as parents are conflicting with God’s plan or drowning out His voice I pray that they will both have the same determination to focus on Him and not us. I pray that we will be the encouragement on the sidelines in life and provide every opportunity for our children to follow God’s plan. Sometimes I wonder if soccer will be part of the plan or if they will walk away from it. Will He send one or both of our children to a faraway country to teach others about Jesus with soccer as the platform? It may be a direction that we have not even a hint of now. Only time will tell as we see His plan unfold.
Another lesson is that our children’s successes are not about us. It is about them and God’s life for them. We should always have the open mind and ability to allow them to walk away from opportunities even when we see potential. God will lead them and put a passion in their heart for the direction He wants them to take. The sport has taught a lot about trying to keep a balance between God, family, and activities. We continually have to do a value check making sure soccer is not becoming an idol and keep the proper perspective. Soccer is fun to watch, but watching them grow in their relationships with and love for Jesus has been the greatest blessing. I pray they will always listen to Life’s greatest coach!
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
A Father’s Affirmation
“You did a good job sweetie!” “ Your flowers look nice babe!” “Your dad loves you and is very proud of you.” This week as I have been working on the yard I have realized how much I have always looked forward to showing my work or accomplishments to my dad. Whether planting flowers in the yard or painting a room in the house I could hardly wait for the opportunity to show my dad the finished product. To me he was the expert and of course the very best. He was the best gardener, painter, handy man, carpenter, and was my expert consultation with questions regarding God’s word.
Grief has overcome at times while working as memories of helping him plant gardens and flowers during my childhood flood my mind. My father taught me to love nature on our many walks and hikes we took. He taught me to always admire and respect God’s creation. There has been an outpouring of gratefulness within my soul with the realization of how blessed my life has been to have been given consistent affirmation of a father. Living in a time where the family unit is no longer considered to be important, so much of the world’s children grow up fatherless. So many children are raised by a single mother who struggles to fill both roles of mother and father. Some grow up knowing that they have been rejected by their father. Some fathers are around, but live in their own selfish worlds never really knowing the children that live under the same roof. So many idols can consume a father. Work, alcohol, friends, sports, cars, motorcycles, hunting the list goes on and on of what can distract a man from fatherhood.
The affirmation my father gave me has taught me even more how to look forward to the affirmation from my Heavenly Father. To strive to please God in everything I do. During my early years I focused on “self” and tried to please the world around me. Now honestly the opinion of others doesn’t matter in comparison to what God thinks. I can never please everybody all the time. I can actually please God all the time by continuously seeking His guidance. By leaving my heart and mind open to Him at all times. Sure I will mess up from time to time, but He continues to help me see my mistakes and seek His forgiveness. As I looked forward to “Well done” from my earthly father how much greater is my anticipation to one day hear “Well done my good and faithful servant, my child, my daughter.” from my Heavenly Father.
Matthew 25:21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
Romans 8:17 “Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
I Am Weak Yet He is Strong
Music is one of the things I love most in life. Voices singing acapella especially stir me right to the very core. There is nothing greater than hearing a voice hit true tones without any other sounds to distract. Multiple voices harmonizing together to sound like one instrument often make my arm hairs stand on end from the goose pimples. One thing my thirteen year old daughter and I share a bond over is acapella music. There is one group in particular that we both are fans of. She is always excited to share a new recording found on I-tunes with me. There is a vulnerability that comes with singing acapella and singing in front of others period. So often my own moments of true worship at home are times I can just sing praises to God with no one else around and often my prayers have to be presented in song. It is funny how God had placed the thought of my love for acapella music on my mind this afternoon and then our pastor’s sermon was on true worship this evening at church. One of my greatest fears actually is singing in front of people. At the age of twenty I finally asked my mother to listen to me sing. I had our family room door shut and my back to her. After the song she looked at me with tear-welled eyes and asked “You have been able to sing this whole time?” It took years of singing specials at church for my dress to stop shaking giving away my nerves. Even twenty one years later before the music starts to a song my heart feels like it will explode from my chest. Every solo, every worship set with our praise team, and with choir I have to ask God for strength. Within my soul I have to cry out “Lord I can’t do this please sing through me!” It is still a fear and vulnerability that I have and at the completion of every song there is another victory for Jesus! Writing has become a second passion to me actually birthing from the same sense of fear and vulnerability. For the last twenty years as a nurse I have had to learn to chart in incomplete sentences and now with the computer age charting mostly requires just the click of the mouse. All that I know to write about are my own experiences and what God teaches me through them in this journey through life. There is such vulnerability with the transparency of my life and soul being exposed. It has become my prayer to ask God what He wants me to write each day. Sometimes a thought has to develop over the course of a few days. As I sit at the keyboard my prayer is Lord I have no idea, I cannot do this, please write through me. Now anything He allows me to write is yet another victory for Jesus. The two things I am actually most fearful of God gives me the most peace while doing. These are times I am completely reliant on His strength and wisdom. When reflecting on my life the two things that seem to have somehow helped someone else the most have been a song or writing. As far reaching as God is through me I will definitely not know during my lifetime. What I do know is that the greatest sense of fulfillment, joy, and peace I have comes when I am completely surrendered to Him and allowing Him to work through my simple life. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Conflict
Sometimes I struggle with finding inspiration when studying the Old Testament of the Bible. As a person who avoids conflict as much as possible it is painful sometimes to read of conflict after conflict all brought about by sin and disobedience to God. There was one passage I recently read that instead of the feeling of pain it was hilarious to me. There are such differences in cultures and in time, but human nature remains the same. In 2nd Samuel chapter 10 King David is making a kind gesture to the Ammonite king in the death of his father. He sent some of his own men to bring condolences to this king. Some of the king’s men basically said “naw they are here to spy so King David can over take you.” So then this king, King Hanun, ordered for his men to shave off half of each of the men of King David’s beards and to cut the bottom out of their pants right over their buttocks. Now I absolutely do not recall a sermon that I have ever heard being preached on this passage. For the visual that God’s word gave me I would have definitely had one of those “awkward trying hard not to laugh in church” moments. Back at this time this was terribly humiliating for these fellas and this act started yet another bout of war and bloodshed. Now days there is a large amount of the American male population that purposely wear their britches down below the buttock region revealing their undergarments. Humiliating to cool who knew? The physical battles, how God continually stressed that any people or things that brought temptations were to be avoided or removed, the fact that mankind failed again and again all leads us to God’s perfect plan of love. He came to earth in the flesh to show us the way to peace. You see from the day we are born there is an inner conflict within us good versus evil, right versus wrong, my way versus God’s way, Satan versus God, the world versus God, our strong or sometimes weak will power versus God’s will for our lives. The list goes on and on of the inner turmoil we face. Taking notes during our pastor’s sermons is something that I have never grown into the habit of doing so I will have to paraphrase a statement he made recently that is so true. The devil will tempt you and lure you into sin and then be the first one to say “Well look what you did! God could never love and forgive you now!” Satan only wants to bring conflict and destruction to our lives. Jesus is the way to inner peace. He can bring peace when there is nothing but turmoil all around. No matter what conflict we are facing in our lives Jesus is the answer to true peace. He is the only true comfort. The more we give Him the victory in our lives the greater freedom we have!!
Most Times Our Way is for the Birds
For nearly a week now there has been a bird flying into one of the windows to our unfinished basement. At this point in my life I have come to the realization that God can speak and teach through absolutely everything. Every event in life, every person, and every circumstance has significance. This bird for days now has taken flight from the ground just below the window ledge and flies directly into the window pane. It makes a loud dong noise that echoes from the basement on up the stairwell. Part of me wants to go talk to the bird and explain that what it is doing is only going to hurt and possibly lead to death. I want to point out the nice trees and bushes all around to the bird. Explain to the bird that they are available to make a nice cozy nest to rest it’s now…
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