fears and doubts

A Strong Clue That You Are Following God’s Plan Foster/Adopt #4

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In all of our sixteen years of marriage Mike and I have never felt more under attack since we decided to take the step of faith to become licensed foster parents.

As a nurse I have cared for the drug addicted, mentally ill, abusive, and suicidal. I have cared for children on the receiving end of all sorts of abuse. I have cared for the broken, lost, and angry who lash out at those who are genuinely trying to help. God has given me the strength to love patients and families throughout my career. He has helped me on countless occasions to not judge and show compassion. I am not 100% perfect in non-judgemental, loving compassion of all humanity ALL the time, but it has grown easier and easier through the years with God’s help. That being said it is one thing to take care of the broken at work. It is a whole other ball-game to invite the broken into your home. Not just inviting the broken but the government as well.

It has been knowing what foster care would truly involve that has taken me over six years to surrender to taking this step of faith. After that sermon from our youth pastor mentioned in the first foster/adopt post my husband and I discussed finally moving forward with licensure. His statement to me was “I have always been good with it. It has been you that has struggled.”
Ok fair enough. Now as we have completed two thirds of our pride foster parent classes he has developed some of the same fears I have faced over the last six years. These classes can be sobering and emotionally draining as many worst case scenarios are shared. How the tables have turned as I feel a stronger determination not to give up and also that I want to not give up on any child placed in our care. As well as help that child’s family if at all possible. Mike on the other hand is questioning and he mentioned the word fear several times. We have both been stressed, cranky, and overwhelmed. Attacks by Satan worse than ever on our own personal attitudes and patience. In our discussion I mentioned that fear is Satan’s strongest tool to prevent people from taking steps of faith. It is only fear and our own selfishness that truly makes this decision hard. God provides scripture at the most critical times as the story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus came to mind. I reminded Mike that as soon as Peter started to become fearful of the storm and waves he sank. (Matthew 14:22-33)When we stop looking toward Jesus and look at all the dangers around us we will never truly follow the path God has for us.

The image of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane so often comes to mind.  Being fully human knowing the pain, suffering, and the weight of bearing the sin of the entire world Jesus prayed “not my will but yours be done”.   Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good of all humanity.   Brings the sacrifices made to make a difference in at least one young life into a whole new perspective.  (Matthew 26:36-46)

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

Learning to be Faithful and Not to Fear

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soccer ball

The question is never if God has my back.  The question is always do I have His?   Last week we received an email about our oldest daughter’s soccer team.  The team manager was checking to see who would like to play indoor soccer and that the games would be on Sunday mornings.  My husband, daughter, and I all talked and unanimously decided that we would not sacrifice going to church on Sunday mornings.   Her outdoor season worked out well with her games at noon on Sunday.  We were able to go to Life Groups, attend worship service, and even get back for Sunday evening service.  Sunday mornings would not work at all even with our church having two bible study and worship times.   My reply to her email simply said that she would like to play, but Sunday mornings just didn’t work for us.  I replied that God is the most important part of our family and that Sunday mornings are about all the time He truly gets.  I went on to say that we could pay and have her on the roster, but she would only be able to play games that weren’t on Sunday morning.  Then thanked her for all of her work because managing any kind of team requires a lot of time.

This my friends is why I know I serve the One and Only true living God and that every word/promise in the Bible is true!  Today I received an email from the team manager that the game schedules had been changed.  That there were no Sunday games on the new schedule and asked if our daughter would still like to play.   This is just one small example of how God has worked each and every time our family or myself has taken a stand or step of faith.  I had even told our daughter that if she is suppose to play this indoor session that God would change the schedule.  He has provided in this way all of my life.  My human sinful nature started to tempt me and I start to fear things like “What will the other parents say?”  “Now she may not get asked to play at all.”  The fearful, doubtful, and worrisome thought list goes on and on.  The sinful thoughts vary based on the decision that I or our family as a whole needs to make.

God already has the answers and plan.  Sometimes His plan is completely different yet always better.  He has my back.  There is no question about that.  Do I have His?  That is the question.  Can I set my human fears, doubts, worries, and selfishness aside?  Can I stand for my faith in a firm yet calm and loving way?

So often there is a misinterpretation of what standing up for faith requires.  Most often it is a calm and simple no.  Then followed by a calm explanation that God is more important than the other option presented.  This is a work within my life that is in progress.  There have been times I have succumbed to the temptation of fear and self.  Times I have failed to be faithful I have missed a blessing.  Every time I have put God first He has overcome all my fears and doubts.  When I trust in Him fully He shows me His awesome power.

Luke 16:10 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”

1 Corinthians 1:9 “God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”